Sometimes it’s the people we trust that betray us the most. They’re the ones we don’t label, the ones we believe will stay because they have passed every hurdle you threw at them. You walk around, telling everyone they are one of your closest friends, someone you trust to be your safe haven when you’re away from home. Yet, it doesn’t matter how many people you tell because you never told the person how much they mean or how vital they are. They hold your hand and walk you through each obstacle you are faced with. You want to believe it’s your fault. You want to be the better person and take all of the blame, but you can’t. Anyway you look at it, you can only blame them. Because you hold people up to the standards of betterment that you hold yourself up to. The standards that even you fall short of, yet you expect better from them, why? Why should you expect anyone to be as loyal as you are? Why should you expect someone else to be your locked box just because you serve as their’s. Even if it means not telling your closest friends, you keep their secrets, for what? Blunt betrayal. The time poured into testing whether they would be a ‘good’ friend or not, the time spent on being a ‘good’ friend to them, the times you thought were ‘good’ all seem to have just been stolen from you. Moments like this seem to compromise the meaning of ‘good’ and the vagueness of the word finally hits you. You knew what you were getting yourself into. You knew you wouldn’t be any different. You knew that you were always an expendable pawn in their masterminded plan for their checkmated victory prize to be one of your closest friends. Still, you smile, and wave, and convince yourself that you’re just overthinking the facts in front of you; instead, you turn a blind eye to instinct. Because you want to believe that you deserve better, you want to believe that people can be trusted. All you want is a friend that you can trust without thinking twice, nothing more. And, against every bone in your body that tells you not to, you say, “Hi.” and the continuum of conversing begins. And, it is this very conversing that justifies your choice because they smile and try just as hard as you, if not harder. Still, your mind is so distracted by all of the kindness that you crave, forcing you to overlook the true purpose of this very conversing; the fact is this is really just a tool for them to clear their conscience from the previous night when they were bitching about you to your best friend: their victory prize, remember.